My fight against cancer isn’t over yet, but it is well with me. I’m done with the 6 sessions of chemotherapy treatments, and that wasn’t a pleasant experience at all. I’d say the day of the chemo itself is manageable, but the following days are certainly decapitating in many ways. I’m just glad chemo is over now, which gave me a lead win of 1-0 against Big C.

How it’s like to undergo a chemo treatment

I must admit I almost gave up after my 4th chemo. It’s too much to bear that I actually asked my oncologist to stop the treatment and go on with the surgery. Of course, request denied.

What happens after being infused with high and strong dosages of TAC (Taxotere, Adriamycin, and Cytoxan) for about 3-4 hours is that my energy level drops down. I feel nauseous and weak.

Yes, I do get Lonquex, a medicine injected to reduce my chance of developing infections. But the side-effect of getting flu-like symptoms isn’t making things better. So following every after chemotherapy, I feel and look crappy, weak, no energy and full of discomfort. The fact that I do nothing but sleep, eat, and cry is all in all crushing me down- body, mind and spirit!

Thank you, ‘te Dyanne and ‘te Veron, for taking a time off from your busy lives to be with me all day during my day of surgery.

On March 1 was this fight’s second round. I had a surgery. The score? 2-0. Many are wondering why I had to undergo an operation. Didn’t the chemo work?

Well, that’s the thing. Undergoing TAC chemotherapy and its harsh effects is meant to shrink the tumor; it doesn’t make the whole tumor disappear. What’s left of it is what’s taken out surgically.

I’m already thankful the doctors spared my left breast (lumpectomy) and save me from losing my entire left mammary gland (mastectomy). More so, the operation went very well, and I went home the same day with no complications and no pain the following days.

The beautiful thought I think of? It’s my dear Alexander always telling me, “It’s okay, mama.”

I was given a general anesthesia before the operation, so I was totally unconscious the whole time.  What I find funny during this experience is when the anesthesiologist was injecting the anesthesia through my right arm to put me to sleep. He’s very kind and asked me to think of a beautiful thought to divert my attention from any pain and discomfort.

As I was telling him how cold and painful it is, everything blocked and blacked out even before I finish saying what I wanted to say. The next thing I knew is that surgery’s over and there I was on my bed in the recovery room– dizzy but alive!

I find that moment of total black out– that period of unconsciousness, feeling nothing– one of the most peaceful and most comforting times since I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer.

For a split second, I did wish I shouldn’t have opened my eyes and should have remained at that state of nothingness. Thank goodness 99% of me wanted to wake up. Otherwise, it’s a tie score with Big C, and I surely don’t want that.

This week is all a recovery period for me, waiting for the wounds to heal and me to be able to move normally. As I have said, the fight isn’t over yet. I was told there is still radiotherapy to come four weeks after my surgery.

The thought of having to go to the hospital everyday for a straight 16 or 21 days for this radiotherapy is already exhausting. But this is the 3rd round, Myra! If I want to win this fight, I need to persevere and get it done!

If that’s what my body needs to completely get back to its healthy state, then so be it. Besides, in my heart and in my mind I have already claimed victory in Jesus’ name!

Recovering, unwinding at the beach in Noordwijk few days after my surgery

To not give up is easier said than done. But to you, my dear family and friends, thank you very much for not giving up on me. Your prayers, words of encouragement and help are truly enabling me to get through the thorny ups and downs of this fight. So thank you, thank you, and thank you very much!

It is well with me… a title derived from one of the many great songs that are inspiring me a lot these days.  I’d like to share this song with you to also inspire you when facing life’s most challenging times.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear…” ~Psalm 46:1-2